How to Fight for Your Child’s IEP: A Guide from Someone Who’s Been There

By Kadin McElwain

When I was in 7th grade, I was excelling academically, making the honor roll five consecutive times. But then, without warning, my school completely removed my Individualized Education Program (IEP)—without my parents’ consent. When my parents found out, they immediately confronted the principal. The response? Since I was doing well, the only support they could offer me was placing me in a robotics camp.

That answer wasn’t good enough for my parents. They reached out to local autism organizations and even a state senator to help reinstate my IEP. Eventually, my IEP was reinstated in high school, but I later learned something shocking: removing a student’s IEP without parental consent is illegal.

Yet, schools often find loopholes to bypass these laws. This practice is, at best, irresponsible and, at worst, a violation of a child’s rights. Schools are supposed to ensure that all students have an equal opportunity to succeed. When they remove IEPs or manipulate policies to avoid providing necessary support, they are failing their most important duty.

That’s why parents must take action. If your child has an IEP, it’s up to you to make sure they receive the support they deserve. Here are three key strategies to help you advocate for your child during IEP meetings.

1. Don’t Let the School Silence You: Stand Your Ground

Schools often assume they know what’s best for your child simply because they provide their education. During IEP meetings, administrators may try to dismiss your concerns or make you feel like you don’t understand what your child needs. My parents experienced this firsthand—principals and other school officials treated them as if they knew nothing about autism.

So what can you do?

The answer is simple: don’t let them silence you. If the school tries to undermine your voice, stand your ground. Insist on being heard. You are the parent—not the teachers, not the principal, not the superintendent. You know your child better than anyone, and your perspective matters. If the school refuses to acknowledge that, they are failing their duty to provide proper support.

2. If the School Removes an IEP, Fight to Get It Back

There are several reasons why a school might decide to take away a child’s IEP. Sometimes, they assume that if a student is doing well academically, they no longer need accommodations. Other times, they simply don’t understand how autism works.

Some schools may be open to discussion and willing to correct their mistakes. But others might deliberately deny services, either due to ignorance or a desire to cut costs. That is not just unethical—it’s illegal.

If your child’s IEP is removed without your consent, take action immediately.

1. Confront the school – Explain why your child still needs the IEP and present any supporting documentation.
2. Seek outside support – Contact local autism advocacy groups, such as the Autism Society of America, or find a special education advocate in your area.
3. Take legal action if necessary – If the school refuses to reinstate the IEP, you may need to escalate the situation. In some cases, filing a formal complaint or even pursuing legal action is the only way to ensure your child’s rights are protected.

Whatever it takes, fight to ensure your child’s IEP is properly implemented.

3. Help Schools Understand Autism from the Right Perspective

One of the biggest challenges in IEP meetings is the lack of understanding about autism among school staff. Despite the wealth of research available, many educators still have misconceptions about autism, which can lead to inadequate support.

So, how can you address this?

The best way to help schools understand autism is by bringing in voices with lived experience—both from autistic individuals and their parents. While educators may have degrees and training, they often lack firsthand experience. By inviting autistic self-advocates or parents who have navigated the system, you can help schools better understand what meaningful support looks like.

Final Thoughts

IEP meetings can be challenging. Some disagreements may be minor, while others may escalate into major conflicts—especially if a school is actively working against your child’s needs.

But at the end of the day, your child’s success is what matters most.

No one can take away their right to an education. As a parent, you have the power to advocate, to challenge unfair decisions, and to ensure your child receives the support they need. Stay informed, stand your ground, and never accept “no” as an answer.

“This article was written by Kadin McElwain, an autistic college student and advocate for neurodivergent rights. His personal experience has driven him to fight for a more inclusive education system and to inspire others to stand up for their rights. His story is a reminder of the incredible potential of the neurodiverse community and the importance of ensuring that all students receive the support they need to succeed.”